Meds

Well, I made the appointment and actually went. Today, I spoke to my Dr about anti-depressants. After a lengthy conversation and a few questionnaires she handed over the scripts. Yep, scripts, plural. I am currently taking Ativan for anxiety and Prozac for moderate depression. The Ativan is only for a few weeks. Basically to get me through Mother's Day and until I get enough Prozac in my system to actually do something.
This was a really hard decision for me. I'm really not a fan of meds of any kind. The dr explained that due to the continuous,year-long stress in my life (read previous posts for explanation) my serotonin levels have been depleted. The idea is to supplement for a few months and then wean off the meds and see if my body kicks up it's production. I have no intention of staying on these long term, but I need a change. It is getting harder to function. Simple trips to the grocery store and preparing meals can completely paralyze me with indecision.
She(the doc) is hopeful that this will also curb my food cravings and allow my eating to return to it's healthier former self. I'm hoping that on the meds I will have the energy and drive to exercise again. I walked to the doctor's office and it felt really good to get out by myself and enjoy my walk.
Doc also recommended grief counceling. I've considered this before, but haven't actually done anything about it. I kept thinking I could handle this. It's frustrating to admit that apparently, I can't. It's too much, for too long. If it had been "just" Mom's death I could have coped. It's the compound effect of Mom's illness then losing her, caring for Grandma, bio-father's death, DH back injury and the fear of brain issues etc. Not to mention the "normal" life stressors.
So, we'll see how it goes. I have a follow-up appt in 2 weeks. By then I should be off the Ativan so I'll know if the Prozac is helping.