Countdown to the end

Today is the anniversary of the day we found out my mom had a tumor. It's a day I will never forget. I still vividly remember her telling me. She was still in shock, and was very matter of fact. At that point we thought it was removable. Or we assumed "they" would just take it out. The week that followed was hectic and emotionally exhausting. The next day she was taken to the hospital only to be sent home after an MRI because all of the neurosurgeons in the area were at a conference! Then on the 28th she was taken back in for a weekend of testing which ended on May 1st with a biopsy. That was the day that I first heard the term anaplastic astrocytoma. Basically, a fast growing, inoperable, brain tumor.
Then began the race to find alternatives to shooting her with enough radiation to kill a horse.
So, as of today, it is 12 weeks until the anniversary of her death. I thought I'd be distraught today. I thought the enormity of this life changing day would way heavily on me. It hasn't. I have so many other things going on in my life, I barely have time to type this remembrance.
It was the first thing I thought of when I woke, though. So unlike last year. Mom and I were chatting when she got a call on the other line. When she clicked back to me she said "that was the doctor...I have a tumor". I reassured her that I was positive she'd be fine. We hung up the phone and I collapsed into sobs. I actually went to work after that, although I cried the entire way there and several times during my shift. Within a few weeks, I put in my request for a leave of absence. Well, the rest of the story can wait until those anniversaries are here.
It's amazing how much stuff happened in 12 weeks. It seemed so long and yet it flew by. So has this last year. Everything has changed. Very few areas of my life are the same. I cling to the status quo in a way I never did before.